A Brief Tale that Actually Happened

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPSHUTUP Ah, alarm set for 5:45. Fifteen more minutes of lovely sleep. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPSHUTUPFORTHELOVEOFGOD Ah, alarm set for 6:00. Fifteen more minutes of lovely sleep. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEP.. BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP BEEPBEEPALLRIGHTIGETTHEIDEA Ah, alarm set for 6:15. Fifteen more minutes of NO Bad Vertical now. Walk Walk Walk Nope, still actually asleep Actual wakeage Actual standage Walk Walk Hey, getting good at this Walk Doorframe Bannister Bit of wall Pain Walk Bathroom! I thank you Shower Shower again Remember to get inside this time Shave ABORT ABORT ABORT Add shaving foam Shave Pain Screaming Dying Wash face Check time Alarm clock: 6:50 Fuck! Other alarm clock: 5:50 Hm Clock in hall: 5:50 Clock in kitchen: 5:50 Hm BT Speaking Clock: 5:50 Hm First alarm clock: 6:50 Hm Why is every clock wrong except this one? Hm Still only one accurate clock in world Hm Speaking Clock again Has not adjusted itself Hm Accurist my arse Think logically Time on alarm clock #1 can be manually altered Time on alarm clock #2 is set by radio from Greenwich Time on alarm clock #1 is very easy to get mixed up with time set for alarm This has often happened before Thinks Thinks Thinks Doesn't think Thinks Thinks DEAR FUCKING CHRIST SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH TIME ITSELF AAAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAH Mm, cup-a-soup AAAAAH Perhaps space is wrong too? Would explain doorframe Hate doorframes The man who was walked into by doors Booker Prize pending Hm Thinks Thinks THINKS HARDER Thinks Thinks (gap) Moment of horrible clarity Oh Oh dear Oh dear One more hour of morning to kill Unless SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH TIME ITSELF Will return to above theory later (Or EARLIER?!) One lovely hour of freedom All activities of the world at hand Anything I desire Such opportunity Thinks Thinks Thinks Internet

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