Eh? Yeah, we thought we'd run a writing competition. You've been listening to us for over eighteen months, and we think it's your turn to write something. We'd like to read what you have to say.

What genre etc.? You can write whatever you want, be it fiction or non-fiction, as long as it's previously unpublished and roughly between 1500 and 3500 words in length. Preferably it should be something good. We like funny things, but we also like affecting things, so go where your heart tells you. Except into poetry, which we won't accept.

The Prize: We are not rich. The prize is fifty of your American dollars, which you can collect in several ways:
  • You have Paypal? We will send it to you via Paypal. Ditto for similar payment systems, although if there's a significant charge we'll have to come to some other arrangement.
  • If you are British, or are willing to accept it anyway, we can send you a cheque for the equivalent amount in pounds sterling.
  • We can also buy the product(s) of your choice to an equivalent value (including shipping etc) from an online store that will deliver to you.
Reader's Fee: We thought about adding a reader's fee. We could make lots of money that way; we could scoop it up and run to the bank with untamed glee. But because we are nice, we won't. Entering is free.

The Catch: The people who run the site may not enter. Ditto for relatives of people who run the site, and the people who live with them. Everyone else may enter. Any work found to be plagiarised in any way will be disqualified. All entries received after 00:00 GMT on October 3rd, 2003 will be disqualified. All entries written in blood will be disqualified, although we thank you for your effort. All entries not written in English will be disqualified, although you may use either American or British spelling. Disqualified disqualified disqualified. It's fun to say. Everything, incidentally, is at our discretion, and the judges' decision is final.

You retain all rights to your work. However, by entering something for consideration, you give us permission to publish it on Rum and Monkey, even if it doesn't win. (We may choose to feature a handful of entries that we think are great, for example.) Note that this means excerpts of your work may feature in our XML feeds and other data sources relating to the site. Also be aware that if you are featured, we'll want to use some kind of biography; click on some of the names under the articles we feature at the moment to see what kind of thing is acceptable (hint: everything). But don't send this information with your initial submission.

How to Enter: Paste the text of your submission, plus title, into the box on our contact page. Include a valid email address, but not your name or address (this will be marked anonymously, and even email addresses will be removed for judging). If you've won, we'll contact you at some point after the deadline to sort things out with you. Be sure to send the submission to the Rum and Monkey crew rather than an individual contributor, and on the very first line you should write "COMPETITION", all in upper case, so we know you're not just submitting something to feature on the site.

Please do use the contact form instead of emailing entries straight to our address. Thanks.

Closing words: Good luck. If we are impressed by the quality of submissions, we may choose to run competitions regularly; come back and see what's going on.