The Liberal Dictionary
1. The process by which future electoral majorities are secured.
2. Reduction of those sections of society which live off others' earnings while contributing nothing themselves.
1. n. A fine and dignified symbol for a venerable and wise organisation.
2. int. Expression uttered on discovery of flaws in the above.
Death Penalty n.
1. The process by which future electoral majorities are lost.
2. The shameful process by which true entrepreneurs are mercilessly cast out of the system for their refusal to live by the restrictions of society.
Agreement with the opposition party.
Economics n. abs.
An interjection expressing strong but as yet unidentified disapproval of a right-wing president.
Something that, similarly to sex, Republicans object to seeing on TV.
The property of being a shadow of one's own party whilst somehow managing to be more substantial in every respect.
Intern n. fem. ming.
A form of receptacle, combining the functions of cigar-box and career pruner. Also useful for rejuvenating the dry-cleaning industry.
A post retired in honour of the Democrat party's original founding.
A minor organ which suffers immensely from sex or inconvenient economics.
Mexico prop. n.
A reserve of convenient votes to be tapped as necessary.
Politically Correct adj.
A style of speech devised solely to be continually one step ahead of Republicans and evolving to be continually one step ahead of any form of common sense whatsoever.
Previous Administration, the n.
A body, now defunct, upon which the responsibility for failures can be deposited.
Sexual Relations n. pl.
Any form of physical contact not involving physical contact.
As used in Bethlehem and other Middle Eastern crises, an object which attracts large amounts of attention to itself, gathers devoted followers, leads them to women in undignified situations and eventually collapses in on itself.
Threat of Terrorism, the n. v.abs.
A form of camouflage applied to right-wing policies to ensure survival in a left-wing environment.
Tolerance and Multiculturalism n.
Gratitude towards those who contribute their votes solely on the basis that English is difficult and one of the available options has fewer syllables than the other.
A form of counting wherein one reaches the appropriate number and then starts again from the beginning, repeating ad nauseum.
Owen wants us all just to get along, y'know?